This is my last week of work before my summer holidays. Thank God. As a teacher, I am just emotionally and physically exhausted. Those of you who are parents or spend time with children know what I mean. You love them but do they ever drive you up the wall sometimes. I need the holidays because I need distance from them and they need distance from me too. I was having a chat today with an Irish guy who has been working with teenagers in England for quite some time. He is visiting the school where I work and getting to know the students. We were talking about discipline and he asked me, ¨Seriously, Natascha…do all the kids here have so many behavioural problems? I said, ¨Well, unfortunately, you got the bad luck of being in the class where the a good majority of the students do not behave well.. It is an extreme situation but I imagine that it is quite different where you are working in England.¨He agreed. He told me that if any of his students spoke to a teacher the way he saw some students speaking to the teacher that day, they would be sent out of the room or even supended for a day. That does not really happen where I work. The idea is, ¨Let´s talk to the children and let them know what they are doing is wrong.¨ Right. Well, I agree that words ARE important but words are not the remedy to everything. So is action. Hey, adults are the same. For example, we can be told a million times not to drive over the speed limit because it is dangerous and so forth but it does not keep everyone from doing it. But oncve we are caught and it is on our driving record, we are usually more careful.
Today, while looking after some children in the cafeteria, I discovered that a 4 year old had (on purpose)poured all of his drink on the floor. He found this amusing and I told him, ¨Let´s see how funny it is when you clean it up.” I handed him some paper towels and he was shocked. He began cleaning it and one of the people I work with was shocked that I did that. After about a minute, I told him to get up and I asked him, ¨Was that fun’¨ He answered that it wasn´t and I told him, ¨Well it is not fun for others to clean up your mess either. Next time, think twice before throwing anything on the floor¨. My colleague was still surprised and I said, ¨How will he learn if he does not realise that there is a consequence to his actions?¨ Was I being ¨hard¨on the boy? Maybe, but in my experience, gently saying, ¨Please don´t do that again¨is not quite effective. And I get pretty annoyed when I see children throwing food and drink on the floor. It is such a lack of respect, on top of being a waste.
Meanwhile, earlier this week, a 5 year old student came up to me, crying because his friend had broken his toy. The conversation went something like this:
Boy: He broke my toy! (Accomapanied by theatrical sobs)
Me: I see. And didn´t I ask you to put away the toy because you are not allowed to bring toys to school?
Boy: Yes, but he broke it.
Me: So, first you brought the toy to school knowing you shouldn´t. Then you did the contrary of what I asked and took the toy out again after I asked you to put it away.
This comment of mine was met with no verbal response, but the theatrics disappeared.
Me: How do you think I feel when you ignore me? I feel sad. I am sorry your toy is broken but I am not surprised. That is one of the reasons why you should not bring toys to school.¨
I asked his friend to apologise and they both walked away, but not before telling them that I expected better from them BOTH. Luckily for me, the mother of the boy with the broken toy was fully supportive of my actions when I later explained what happened. Some parents would have been pretty annoyed with me for being too ¨hard¨ and not punishing the other boy more.
Bad choices have consequences. Those consequences are there to teach us. If you tell people you expect great things from them because you know they are capable of doing them, they strive to achieve them. I know some people think I am being hard on my students but the pride they feel when I tell them they made the RIGHT choice tells me I am on the right path.
July 15, 2015 at 7:17 pm
You are not being too hard, you’re full of common sense and if people can’t see that, then they are misguided. I can understand how hard it must be though when everybody else around you has a different way of doing things 😦
Still, you’re on holiday soon, yay! 🙂
July 15, 2015 at 7:51 pm
Thanks a lot. Most people agree with me but lots of parents just make excuses for their kids and complain. In the end, the kids suffer so much and don’t learn responsibility. So grateful for holidays if you hear a super loud ALELUIA coming from the direction of Madrid on Friday at 16:00, it will probably be me, jubilating hahaha! Thank you again my friend! Xxx
July 15, 2015 at 10:08 pm
You are a wonderful teacher – I love that you make the child responsible for their actions! So many parents (and teachers) do not have the courage to ‘stand up to their children’ and allow them to wreck havoc on the world! Great job Natascha! (By the way, my son is also a teacher and we have had many conversations about discipline – he’s of your way of thinking thank goodness!!) 🙂
July 16, 2015 at 9:44 am
Thanks a million, Linda. It is true that parents often try one’s patience more than their children do. I think your son would agree that children respect you more when you discipline them in a fair and reasonable way. 😊😊😊😊
July 16, 2015 at 2:43 pm
Absolutely!
July 17, 2015 at 4:15 pm
You did right! Too many these days think old school discipline is too harsh. THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE WORLD TODAY! Not enough spankings lol
July 17, 2015 at 5:25 pm
As usual…totally agree with you! Would you believe that spanking is illegal in Spain? Parents will still do it of course but God help you if authorities get wind if it. No slapping either. So when a kid decides to hit me, who is there to protect me? Nobody! The kid has to be protected not disciplined.( Thank God it has not happened too many times, just a few. )
July 17, 2015 at 7:17 pm
Yeah its getting that way here too in the USA, but some like me DON’T CARE, I will spank my kids if they deserve it. My kids are young ladies now so it’s been awhile though but grounding still happens sometimes haha. I say if they need it, give it haha
July 17, 2015 at 7:23 pm
I don’t care either haha! You are right! My mom and dad were the same and I am so grateful they had the balls to draw the line!
July 17, 2015 at 7:25 pm
Exactly! There’s a fine line between disciplining and abuse with the government nowadays and it’s understandable BUT, they shouldn’t completely rule out spankings with time outs, it just doesn’t work lol
July 17, 2015 at 7:50 pm
No it does NOT! In some cases, a spanking is needed. I am surrounded by people who think that gently talking to a child is the answer to everything. No way. How do I know? Those parents who just “talk” to their kids or make excuses for them frequently have children who misbehave the most or have very low academic levels..or both.
July 18, 2015 at 4:56 am
Preach it sister lol. That’s a fact! ! My kids are some of the most well behaved compared to alot of the ones she goes to school with. I’ve never had nothing but good compliments from my teachers of my kids. Lol. That’s because I never took up for them when they did something wrong and spanked when needed. Now that they are of age, they are being taught to work for their own way also! ! Mom and dad won’t be around forever and we want to know they count on themselves alone!
July 18, 2015 at 8:20 am
You rock! Those are priceless teachings and ones that they will be so grateful for. When I see what many kids are not being taught by their parents, I feel more grateful for what my parents took the time to do. 👍🍻👍🍷😙😁😍
July 18, 2015 at 2:47 pm
Awe thanks honey. Yes, I’m old school and will be that way till the day I die lol.
July 18, 2015 at 3:03 pm
Me too! 👍👍👍👍👍
July 17, 2015 at 9:54 pm
I hope you don’t mind but I find your blog to be an inspiration and have nominated you for the Starlight Bloggers Award 😀 x
http://howmummyflowersdoesit.com/2015/07/17/starlight-bloggers-award/
July 18, 2015 at 8:06 am
How could I mind when you have done something so nice? Thank you so so much! 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘❤❤❤
July 18, 2015 at 2:18 pm
You know my views, not too hard at all, it is the world that has gone soft and we are paying the consequences for this lack of respect and discipline. Keep up the good work x
July 18, 2015 at 3:05 pm
It means a lot to read this. Thanks a million. Xxxx
July 29, 2015 at 8:13 pm
Not too hard at all! good lesson but in a nice way!